The Hour Of Truth Approaches [Aug 13, 2003]

Soon, my friends, The Fox News Channel will reach its reckoning for daring to sue Al Franken for the crime of using the phrase "Fair And Balanced" in the title of his new book. Soon, the holy powers of the Internet will rise up and bite Bill O'Reilly, unbidden, in the night. Soon, tomorrow, in fact, you will use the words Fair And Balanced all over your websites in creative ways, causing the brains of the Fox News lawyers to explode all over the corporate conference room of sin. Soon, First Amendment vengeance will be ours.

Thanks to everyone who's been supportive of my efforts to have you all use Fair And Balanced for your own purposes. Mr. Noam Alaska sent in an early entry. So did Brian Plank. I'm posting these two early risers as inspiration to you, though keep in mind that I won't be tabulating the results on Friday, merely sitting back and watching the chaos unfold from my perch on Mount Winchester.

Thanks also to Kurt for sending in this old link, one of the first to call Fox News on its egregious bullshit. Read the piece just in case you lack inspiration. It's hard to believe that one can't be inspired to anger by Fox News, but it's always possible.

I know that Al Franken can defend himself. Because of this lawsuit, or despite it, or whatever, his book is number one on Amazon before its publication date. But this Fair And Balanced Day of protest isn't for him, really. It's for all of us who face censorship in these intolerant times. What about the 500-hit-a-day blogger who dares criticize the powerful? Who will issue a press release on her behalf? What about the website that's selling silly anti-administration parody shirts and stickers?

And what of the novelist whose Amazon sales ranking is 1,121,599 because his publisher still hasn't posted his book's excellent cover image six weeks before publication date? Does this man have a champion in the world? Will anyone buy his book or donate to his tour fund by using the Donate button down a bit in the right column?

We must fight them on the battlements. We must fight them in the trenches. We must fight them in the air, by the sea, and by any means necessary. The forces of censorship cannot triumph. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers, will come together tomorrow, our weapons of wit and satire in hand, and vanquish the enemy, waiting just over the hill with lawsuits in hand. History will remember us, not as cowards, not as small blips of information in an endless sea, but as heroes. For tomorrow, Friday August 15, shall be remembered as the day the Internet rose up against censorship. Let the angels sing! Let the heralds trumpet! Let us all remember forevermore the names of those who fought on Fair And Balanced Day!