A Fresh Scalp For The Collection [Jul 14, 2003]

Hello, readers! Many apologies in advance for today's short entry, but I'm still exhausted from my extended honeymoon. You may interpret that word, "honeymoon," however you wish. All will be revealed in the coming days.

I chose a momentous time in the world to take my vacation. The next week or so will see me catch up with such incredible speed and alacrity that it may seem like I was never gone at all. But before I get onto mostly-predictable topics, let me spend a few sentences exulting in the firing of MSNBC talk-show host Michael Savage.

As you know, I recently declared June 26 Appopriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day. This was met with to tremendous response from the citizens of the Internet. Thanks to those who wrote me during my trip to imply that our little protest may have had something to do with Savage's demise. But I think the fact that he told one of his callers to "get AIDS and die" may have been a slightly larger factor. Still, I'm proud of what we accomplished. Combine the Savage action with the recent Ari Fleischer Is A Penis-Shaped Sycophant To Power Day, and my virtual friends and I have fallen two annoying oaks in one week. Blogs are growing in power and number. Watch out, evildoers. You could be next!

I also recently received several emails requesting that I ask you to send boxes of yellow cake mix to the White House. This is an excellent and subtle idea. I certainly don't discourage you from acting out. However, the pranks I sponsor are very specifically aimed at powerful people who threaten the First Amendment rights of the less powerful through lawsuit or other intimidation. It may not be lying to the world about the existence of nuclear weapons to justify an ill-conceived war, but it's still an unjust trend, and it's all mine. Still, boxes of yellow cake mix to the White House. That would be hilarious.

I'll return tomorrow with a full opinion docket on the President's recent visit to Africa. There comes a time. When he heeds a certain call. Good to be back.

Neal