Keepin' It Avril [Nov 11, 2002]

It became apparent to me, upon my return from the Middle East, that many of my readers were thrown off by my inquiry into the punk-rockness of Canadian songbird Avril Lavigne. Well, let me answer some of your questions here, and let me open up my email box for a discussion of the true nature of punk rock,. It's easier, sometimes, to print other people's letters than come up with original content yourself.

I toil for you, people, and you don't appreciate me. Oh, sure, you think I'm your funny dancing monkey who will be around forever, but someday, this monkey won't dance no more. And then what will you do?

Our Atlanta correspondent, JS Van Buskirk, had this to say on our topic at present: "If Avril LaVigne, or her handlers, sincerely desire to present a fundamental anti-Britney force, they are going about it all wrong.

Canadians don't usually make this mistake vis a vis America, but Avril has forgotten that self-definition through stated opposition invariably reinforces the essential strengths of the supposed enemy. Many de-colonized areas continue to suffer under a legacy of conquered identity and mirror-image governments cast in the spiritual mold of the the physically-ousted colonizing government. In a related operation of the same mechanism, Democrats and Republicans are able to maintain a cooperative stranglehold on American politics through conscious and choreographed "conflict". By defining herself as an "Anti-Britney", Avril LaVigne can achieve only one of only two things:

1] Remaining an eternal also-ran.

2] Toppling Britney from dominance, only to find that her success forces her to wear fewer, tighter clothes and hire cheesier production staff in order to secure her power over the newly-conquered Britney-fed drones -- a la Machiavelli's advice that those newly in power must immediately take swift, violent, and immoral action for the greater aim of secure government.

So, Avril LaVigne is not punk. If she would like to try to be more punk, there is only punk or punk not, there is no TRY, but she might consider sleeping outside, kicking random strangers in the ass, and quitting giving a crap what Britney Spears is, says, and or does."

Thank you, JS.

Leonard Pierce, one of my confused but willing-to-learn readers, asks, "Avril Lavigne. Is that a "punk rock" way of spelling "April Levine", or is it some kind of Canadian thing? Or what?"

Good question, Leonard. If Avril Lavigne is Jewish, I'm going on tour with her. Miracle me!

Jim Ruland of Los Angeles goes deep into the punk canon to ask, "Now that she's no longer a lude-popping jizzpot, will banging Belinda Carlisle in the back of her Expedition while listening to the Weirdos help my punk rock street cred, or is it simply too late?"

A prize to anyone who can deconstruct Jim's ironic sub-referencing, but I will say this: How do you know, Jim, that Belinda Carlisle isn't a lude-popping jizzpot anymore? The grapevine says otherwise.

Finally, Kenan Hebert of Austin, TX, far more thoughtful than he needs to be on this topic, writes, "In regards to Avril Lavigne. I think the tacit consensus is pretty firmly against her being punk rock. You're not exactly out on the fringes on this one. You knew that, though. On to the real question. What is punk rock? Punk rock is The Sex Pistols, or course, but it's also the Stooges, and the Seeds, and the Monks. It's not in the mall, but it's usually not in your living room, either. It's an ethos, and it exists in its true form only at the edge of whatever culture it comes out of, at the drop-off point, at the edge of the map where they've printed, "Here there be dragons." The Austin scene, ever full of "punk rock," is only proof of how difficult it is to create real punk rock. Everyone around here seems to think punk is a sound. It isn't. It's the negation of a sound. If I wanted to create punk rock nowadays, I think I might start with deconstructing what passes for punk rock. I couldn't do it by deconstructing the music though -- that's soooo 1978 -- but I could do it by deconstructing the driving forces behind it. Punk rock is partly about being pissed, and new punk rock should start with being pissed at old punk rock. You have to be careful, though, not to lapse into easy irony. Punk rock is not about irony, or mocking. Punk rock must be sincere and direct. It's a problem, as you can see. But there's this: you have to be pissed, you have to tear down something arrogantly established, you have to do it in a new way, and you have to mean it, and probably even feel it. That's punk rock."

Keep it ethical, Kenan, that's what I say. You're SO straight-edge, though that may only be because you can't afford drugs. But because of you, now this conversation is really rolling. Readers! I implore you! Send in questions and comments. Provide examples of phony punk in contemporary life. Together, we will piss away the culture, and 25 years from now, some leechy journalist will do an oral history of our lives. Send all messages, as always, to npblog@aol.com.

Now get back to work. As must I. Tomorrow, I will begin my investigation into how and why the government ordered the murder of Jam Master Jay. Look for my piece in the New Yorker sometime after the topic no longer matters to anyone else.