The Adventures of Yesterday [Nov 8, 2002]

I know all of you were wondering where I, Lizz Westman, had disappeared off to in the past couple days. After Tuesday's humiliating defeat, I needed time to rest up and call with my concession to the winner...

Winner: "Hello?"

Me: "Hi. I just wanted to tell you congratulations on your re-elected post as the Illinois congressperson."

Winner: "Who is this?"

Me: "Lizz Westman, write-in candidate. I stand for all the tough issues."

Winner: "Who?"

Me: "Your opponent. Your write-in opponent. I just wanted to tell you I'm conceding the race."

Winner: "It's Thursday."

Me: "I needed time to accept that I wasn't moving to Washington. Say, you need help moving stuff or driving a truck?"

Winner: "How did you get this number?"

Click.

So, I'm off to the Chicago protests. Down with capitalism! Down with capitalism! Down with... "ooh the Gap is having a sale!" -- What can I say? I grew up in the suburbs.