While I do not, philosophically, believe in writing for money, certain necessities of adult life, such as auto insurance, the purchase of fine smokeables, and the rising costs of reconstituted mushrooms, make it necessary for me to sell products that contain my name. When this website first appeared two years ago, only one product existed. Now there are five, and there are more to come.

I know this is uncomfortable, but let's make it a habit. I'm selling, you're buying. Almost all of these items will be officially on sale March 5, so have patience. Let's review what's out there. Come on. You'll be popular. I'll be your best friend.

--NP

NEAL, BATH AND BEYOND.
Your one-stop Internet shopping source for all Neal Pollack-related goods. Including a Neal Pollack World Tour 2002 T-shirt, avaialble almost exclusively on-line! Don't miss this exciting literary retail opportunity! Shop! Do your part to help us fight the war on terror!

THE NEAL POLLACK ANTHOLOGY OF AMERICAN LITERATURE: THE COLLECTED WRITINGS OF NEAL POLLACK
Well, finally, this sucker exists. The greatest book ever written by an American is now available in a special corporate paperback edition. It contains more than 100 pages of new material, plus the usual array of sexy naked pictures, a study guide, and new footnotes written by the author. The best Internet option for buying is, I guess, the retail giant we all fear in our dreams. Go to this link, and make it your own.

NEAL POLLACK AND THE PINE VALLEY COSMONAUTS PRESENT THE NEAL POLLACK ANTHOLOGY OF AMERICAN LITERATURE
In perhaps the most astonishing development in popular music since Dylan went electric or maybe the birth of Justin Timberlake, Neal Pollack and British punk legend Jon Langford have collaborated on this unique audio retelling of Pollack's classic book. With special instrumentation on nearly every track and guest vocals by Kelly Hogan and Sally Timms. Enjoy these lovely images here, and then click here to purchase the album from Bloodshot Records, which now owns Neal's soul.

THE NEAL POLLACK ANTHOLOGY OF AMERICAN LITERATURE: THE COMPLETE NEAL POLLACK RECORDINGS
A must-have for the true Neal Pollack afficionado, this 3-CD spoken-word boxed set masterpiece includes more than a dozen recorded pieces from the Anthology, an hour of poetry, recorded live at a very exclusive Brooklyn nightclub, and a brand-new interview between Pollack and his former agent, John Hodgman. A classgiant ic comedy album in the tradition of classic comedy albums. Go to the online retail to order.

THE NEAL POLLACK ANTHOLOGY OF AMERICAN LITERATURE
The original classic hardback edition of the Anthology, the first book ever published by McSweeneys. Still comes complete with gold ribbon and beautiful Icelandic binding. One day, this book will be rare, and worth something. Go here.

NEAL POLLACK: THE NAKED CAT POSTER
If your sex life is lagging, why not try the now-legendary Neal Pollack "naked cat" poster, which shows more Neal than you'd ever want to see. A classic poster in the world of posterdom, and a marital aid to dozens. Go here.

POETRY AND OTHER POEMS
Neal Pollack's book of poetry, long awaited, but not yet arrived. Watch this space for details.